Nostalgic...The Shit We Remember...
I couldn`t sleep last night. I said something to someone that I shouldn`t have said. You know who you are, and if you`re reading this, I just want to apologize, I`ve opened myself to you, and let you see the raw inside of my self, and I don`t do that for a lot of people. I have so many walls and guards put up, that I come off sometimes as someone I`m not. But you`re breaking those walls quickly, and I want to shout out, on here, in front of all my readers, that I think very highly of you, and feel honoured that I`ve gotten a chance to meet you.With that said. Last night I couldn`t stop thinking about things in the past. Not bad things, but memories that I cherish. So I decided to jot a few down here, and share a few of the memories I have of childhood, teenage years and adult years as well.
When I was a kid, lived in a house with 12 people in total. 5 adults, including my dad and 7 of us kids. I have to say I miss those days, when everything was simple. I miss my cousins being my best friends. I miss how close I was with Lisa, Trista too. But I regret the years and the distance that has become between Lisa and I the most. She used to be my best friend, we shared everything together. And now we barely speak. I hope one day that we can mend and become close again.
I remember playing in the gully, catching cray fish and putting them in our little kiddie pool. I remember getting burnt as kids and we`d sit in a row and peel each others backs lmao, or taking turns drawing on everyones backs, brushing each others hair. Our basement parties we used to have, and being scared of the room with the caged door, where all the bats lived. I remember bats getting in the house and Aunt Barb getting one in her hair.
I remember falling off my bike, and a guy in a truck picking me up and taking me home, and the reaction Aunt Barb had when she saw my bike in the back of some strangers truck and didn`t see me. And the hug she gave me when she realized I was in the cab. I felt so loved, and important. Like I had a mom. She told me once that I slept walked in her rom, walking back and forth infront of her dresser mirror giggling at myself, then ran back to my bed.
I remember baths in the big claw foot tub. Drawing a picture of my dad, for my dad, and he hung it on the wall just inside his bedroom door. I remember curing up in my dads legs watching cartoons in he morning, and watching him peel grapefruits and sharing them with me. I remember fishing with my dad and our daddy daughter date nights to the movies.
I remember Ian eating his money because he thought it would be safe in him, then him throwing it up and me yelling to dad "Dad, Ian`s puking pennies!!". Tobogganing in the back yard, picking raspberries and blackberries. Climbing the cherry trees. The play house Uncle paul built us in the back yard. Having bike races down the driveway. Walking to school as a group cause we got kicked off the bus. The school fight that was started over a knife in the cheese whiz jar LOL Running into a screen door and hearing my dad laugh at me. Getting bunnies.
Sleeping with Gramma. Wearing her shoes cause she was so tiny and my feet were as big as hers. Watching Inspector gadget with her. Gramma`s Sgetti. Playing in Grammas garden, running to the corner store for her. The baby chicks and chickens in her garage. Family gatherings and water fights at her house. The butterfly magnets on her fridge.
Collecting nuts with Grampa, fire snakes and bom fires. Sitting on Grampas lap and him reading to me. Playing games with him. The doll house I was allowed to play with and the black car that was my fave. The doll house in mom`s old room, I wasn`t allowed to touch. Finding candy next to my bed in the morning that Grandma had left as a treat. Grandma`s cinnamon toast in the morning. Feeling like a big kid when I was allowed in the basement to watch the adults play pool. Choking on a hot ball, and Grampa giving me the heimlich maneuver on the side of the road. Living in the apartment with mom, and my bedroom being a curtained off portion of the dining room. Moms van getting stolen, and me being so upset that my fave shirt was in the van and I wouldn`t be able to wear it again. Riding my pink tricycle up and down the street collect rocks in the bucket and releasing them over the edge of the mountain. Poking holes in moms water bed with a pin and giggling from all the spraying water. The german sheppards following my every step. Catcha having puppies in the dining room. Mom finding a yogurt in my play fridge and asking me where I got it, and me telling her that was my milk from last week. HAHA grose! Riding the motorcycles. Watching mom drop her bike behind us, and the sheer terror I felt, screaming, and Wes telling me to stay on the bike. Thinking my mom was gone. Wondering into the middle of traffic in shock. Stepping on moms sun glasses.
Stealing cookie doe from the fridge and dad telling me I`ll get worms. The doll Linda made me the first time we met, it was a big as I was. How much I loved having an older sister, and bugg`n the shit out of her. Getting handcuffed to her ankle! HA! Her fish tank. Watching her wait for the school bus in the morning, and not being able to wait till I got to go to high school too.
Walking to Angelas house. Hanging out on the church steps, cause it was Stockdale and there was nothing else to do. Having birthday sleep over with Sara & Angela. Chores. Smoking down my the river so my dad wouldn`t find out. Our cocker spaniel Dutchess. Biking to Trenton from Stockdale down Stockdale road to see Troy, and his mom driving me home with my bike in the trunk. Smoking out my bedroom window.
Troy winning an arm wrestling contest and his hug in front of the whole school. Semi-formal. Skipping school and going to Troy`s house for the day. The car accident on hwy 69. Home alone at Dwaine`s house ;) The notes our parents would find. Music class. Grease, the school play. So many things I can`t mention here HAHA ;)
Poutine with mayo & ketchup as CSS. Candice & Crystal. Walking to school 2 km everyday. Hanging out under the bridge and just party`n, being kids. The trip to Wonderland with Trista, Matt & Brandon. Moving in with my sister. Dropping out of school. Learning to drive in Adams mustang. The many accidents in Adams mustang.
Moving to Bolton with Dad, him offering me a chance to go back to school. Thomas, Tara and that whole gang. Chill` at the coffee shops, high out of our birds. The many many parties. Meeting Scott from a truth or dare game. Working at RadioShack. Moving into my first apartment, and the spiders....spraying bleach on the bright purple walls making them blue and purple. 10 people in the tiny bathroom, hot boxing! Working at the old age home. Moving to New Brunswick. The SWAT team for the murder next door. Down east Donaire pizza....oh my GOD!!! YUM!!
Christmas night, finding out I was pregnant. The call to my dad. Moving back home to be closer to family. Watching my belly move. Re-uniting with Troy 8 months pregnant.
....thats enough for now...my nostalgic has run out for the time being...Sorry if its a boring read. I kind just went on a roll.
posted by Emmers @ 10:45 a.m.
1 Comments:
Hardly boring Chicka.
It is great knowing more about you especially since we only met in high school.
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